You know those stylish women that you see out shopping, looking like they just stepped out of a photo shoot or high-rise executive office building or something? That’s not me.
Picture instead that disheveled soul hunched over the extra-big cart to accommodate extra-small passengers, stopping about every ten steps or so to retrieve a toy gone overboard, and playing the broken record of, “Stay with Mommy, honey…no, don’t take that away from your sister…please sit back down in your seat...” You know, the woman dragging her feet after trekking back and forth across the store for things like shoes that got kicked off in the Health & Beauty section but weren’t noticed until the milk aisle? Yep, that’s me.
Somehow my two-year-old always seems to know when we’re at the farthest possible point before announcing her full bladder. Or maybe that’s just my perception, seeing as bathroom trips are never convenient. And price-comparison shopping is all well and good, but let me tell you right now, it is not conducive to speedy shopping. At least, not for me. And I have the unfortunate tendency to skip over “shampoo” on my list until I’m all the way over at the cereal.
No, “quick’ and “shopping trip” are incompatible in my vocabulary. It doesn’t really bother me much personally, but I do often feel a twinge of guilt at the fact that my daughters have to sit for so long (they’re exceptional shopping companions, thankfully) and my poor husband is often left wondering what became of his little family.
The girls nibbled their way through cracker package #1 during the hour spent at our first store.
They polished off cracker package #2 within the first ten minutes of the second store…and about four hours later, at the embarrassingly irresponsible hour of 10 pm, we finally left that store.
As we pushed our way out into the fresh night air, loaded the car up, and said goodnight to the metal basket on wheels that had been our home for the evening, I breathed a sigh of relief and wearily collapsed into the seat to drive home. Another day done, another month begun.