8 Reasons NOT to take Online Quizzes

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I’ve recently been hit with an astounding revelation. Online quizzes are stupid! Who cares which Disney Princess I am? Or which animal? Or shoe?

I’m not a shoe. I am a person.

But alas, I still fall into the trap. The quiz today? “Which parent are you?” Apparently I’m a PTA Mom. That’s all well and good, but according to whom? According to the random person that made a 5-question quiz to sum up my entire parental identity. *Sigh* When will I learn?

So even though I’m sure cave and give into the nonsense again before too long, allow me to share my rational thoughts today:

8 Reasons NOT to take Online Quizzes:

1. They are not scientifically based. They are opinions based on the experiences and worldviews of a random person “out there” who wants to fit you into their preconceived box of “people like you”

2. They are a waste of time. What type of parent am I? I’m the kind who wastes time taking a stupid quiz instead of folding laundry or washing dishes. Besides, PTA Mom? Please, my kids don’t even go to school.

3. Half the time, none of the options presented even apply. This one drives me crazy, because when I desperately want to find out Which Famous Literary Character I Am, I don’t like any of the books listed in question #3, or can’t relate to any of the quotes in #4, so I find myself making stuff up.

4. They are based on subjective and inflated self-perception. I might like to think that I am wild and free, or peaceful and mysterious, but maybe I’m just annoying. Or dull.

5. They encourage self-absorption. “I can’t wait to see the result so I can read about how wonderful I am!”

6. They encourage egotism. “I will now share my result so that everyone can see I am a Friendly Dolphin and not a Timid Mouse.”

7. They don’t actually reveal anything about you. You will not know more about yourself after you take it. It doesn’t matter if you get Lady Edith Crawley or John Bates, because you are not now and never will be a character on Downton Abbey. (Besides, remember how it’s all based on your biased self-perception anyhow?)

8. Their stupidity gets you to waste time writing about how stupid they are. Okay, maybe that one’s just for me. Anyways, this is where I will bid you adieu and encourage you to go do something profitable.

Remember, just say “No!” to online quizzes.

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