Author Archives: Leann

8 Reasons NOT to take Online Quizzes

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I’ve recently been hit with an astounding revelation. Online quizzes are stupid! Who cares which Disney Princess I am? Or which animal? Or shoe?

I’m not a shoe. I am a person.

But alas, I still fall into the trap. The quiz today? “Which parent are you?” Apparently I’m a PTA Mom. That’s all well and good, but according to whom? According to the random person that made a 5-question quiz to sum up my entire parental identity. *Sigh* When will I learn?

So even though I’m sure cave and give into the nonsense again before too long, allow me to share my rational thoughts today:

8 Reasons NOT to take Online Quizzes:

1. They are not scientifically based. They are opinions based on the experiences and worldviews of a random person “out there” who wants to fit you into their preconceived box of “people like you”

2. They are a waste of time. What type of parent am I? I’m the kind who wastes time taking a stupid quiz instead of folding laundry or washing dishes. Besides, PTA Mom? Please, my kids don’t even go to school.

3. Half the time, none of the options presented even apply. This one drives me crazy, because when I desperately want to find out Which Famous Literary Character I Am, I don’t like any of the books listed in question #3, or can’t relate to any of the quotes in #4, so I find myself making stuff up.

4. They are based on subjective and inflated self-perception. I might like to think that I am wild and free, or peaceful and mysterious, but maybe I’m just annoying. Or dull.

5. They encourage self-absorption. “I can’t wait to see the result so I can read about how wonderful I am!”

6. They encourage egotism. “I will now share my result so that everyone can see I am a Friendly Dolphin and not a Timid Mouse.”

7. They don’t actually reveal anything about you. You will not know more about yourself after you take it. It doesn’t matter if you get Lady Edith Crawley or John Bates, because you are not now and never will be a character on Downton Abbey. (Besides, remember how it’s all based on your biased self-perception anyhow?)

8. Their stupidity gets you to waste time writing about how stupid they are. Okay, maybe that one’s just for me. Anyways, this is where I will bid you adieu and encourage you to go do something profitable.

Remember, just say “No!” to online quizzes.

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On the Dubious Medical Practices of a Two-Year-Old

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Descending the stairs into the living room today, I noticed a very focused two-year-old hurrying to the couch…whereupon lay her daddy. The prognosis was grim: He was sick. And dying. On the cross.
She treated him with much medicine (read “all the contents of her play kitchen from the next room”) to make him better, meanwhile explaining to us that she had to carry him to the cross so he could die. Then she would take care of him. And though she insisted she was not a doctor…or a soldier…just a Person…she took to her task with grave seriousness.
Thankfully, she succeeded — or failed? I’m not quite sure which — and my husband is happy and healthy beside me once again!

Hey, whoever said make-believe had to make sense?

It’s quiet…a little TOO quiet

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I remember a while back, washing dishes in the kitchen and suddenly thinking, “Huh, they’re being awfully quiet.  I wonder what’s up…”

I walked back to the bedroom.  The door was closed.  Uh-oh.

Slightly terrified, I pushed it open, bracing myself for what I might find inside.  And my eyes did indeed fall upon a shocking sight, but not the kind I was expecting.

There, sitting side-by-side on the little toddler bed, were my 3-year-old and 1-year-old, reading books.  (Ok, so they weren’t technically “reading,” but they were absorbed)  They looked up at me and smiled, and I just shook my head in wonder.

I guess quiet can be a good thing.  🙂

Why Not to Back into Things When Your 3-Year-Old Is in the Car

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I don’t know how I missed it, but I did.  I backed straight into the side of a big, dark, delivery van.  Thankfully no one was in it, and after I jumped out to survey the damage, I breathed a big sigh of relief to find nothing more than a few smudges of paint on the van’s side.  That is, till the driver of the van (who happened to be very kind and gracious through the whole ordeal) expressed regret over my own car’s fate.  I hadn’t even been thinking about my own side of things!  I turned and felt a knot in my stomach as I looked at the classic corner-of-the-fender dent.  Thankfully, though, no one was hurt, and I drove my girls home very carefully.

Apparently, however, this impression on our car also made an impression on my 3-year-old daughter.  A few weeks later (notice I said WEEKS), I received a glowing commendation from the backseat when I successfully backed out of a parking spot.  In all earnestness, she exclaimed, “Thank you for not bumping into anything, Mommy!”

(“Um, thank you…?”)

Boo-Boos and Butterflies

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I was a little girl, running around in the sprinklers with some neighbor kids, loving the summer heat in my bright little bathing suit and stringy wet hair, till my day took a “catastrophic” turn on a metal swingset slide.  Rushing home in tears, I burst into the house to show my dad my sliced knee.  I remember him taking me to the bathroom and holding me while he doctored up the cut.  His bandage of choice?  The butterfly.

If you’ve never been a little 5-year-old girl, you may not catch the magic in that…but at that moment, my despair gave way to the wonder that there’s actually such a thing as a butterfly bandaid!  And today, when I see the faint scar on my knee, I don’t remember the pain or the tears, I remember my dad being there to take care of his little girl.

So to the dad who treated boo-boos with butterflies, happy Father’s Day!  I love you!

The Naked Man

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There I was, walking down the street with a double stroller, more little people tagging along at my side.  I had taken my two girls and their two friends on cheerful, sunny outing to the dollar store (it’s the simple things in life).  As we trekked home with our loot — a bubble wand and a bottle of bubbles — I noticed a bicyclist coming towards us, so I hustled the children off to the side to make room for him.  The man happened to be shirtless.

Now, we’ve really tried to instill good habits of modesty in our children, and I have to admit that I’m rather glad that my daughter recognizes the shameful lack of clothing littering every checkout lane in our nation (“mommy, that lady is naked”).  I should have seen it coming, but I must admit that I was caught off-guard when my daughter yelled out, in all her 3-year-old exuberant innocence, “Mommy, he’s NAKED!  THAT MAN IS NAKED!!!

I’m not sure my face could have been redder as I ducked my head and tried unsuccessfully to stifle my laughter.  Part of me hopes the guy didn’t hear her.  But part of me hopes that he did, and that he puts a shirt on next time he goes for a bike ride.

 

Maybe we’ll wait a while before trying the beach…

Has your heart smiled today?

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Tonight I walked into the living room to find my husband rolling around on the floor with our two daughters, tickling them senseless while they giggled uncontrollably.

I love them.  It’s moments like those that make my heart smile.

So…go make someone’s heart smile today  🙂
(and share about it in the comments below!)